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Submitted on
October 21, 2012
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Soft with crows you sumptuous walk,
stroll dark roads entombed in night.
Stolen souls somnolent ceaseless talk,
black tales wove with cunning sight.

Words crack fractured tears of frost,
bare starved branches silent sway.
Stark leaves by cruel winds tossed,
beneath the heavens clouded grey.
  
Blood lies crimsoned on the slate,
dead men stirred sup second life.
Servants sweep from Satan's gate,
summoned to your slaking knife.

So the four ride upon your breath  
PESTILENCE WAR FAMINE DEATH
Open-Mic-Poetry Sonnet Contest
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I don't know... I feel that perhaps the inversion in different expressions and the choice of words was perhaps not the best you could have done. The work sort of confused me and I don't really know what it was about ^^; while it happens with many works that I am unable to understand the general feel... in this one, the first stanza... I didn't get. The second left a slight feel and the last two played their part well although the last couplet could use a comma or semi colon perhaps. Perhaps if I understood it better I would enjoy it more!
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:iconsomnolent-droid:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013
Thanks for the comments! I feel I went in a bit too heavy handed with this one! Too much purple prose. I've since read some of Byron's stuff, and he makes his poetry much more accessible - which is a far better idea!
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You are welcome and don't take my comment that seriously since I haven't read much of Byron although a friend of mine has. But yea, a bit heavy :nod:
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:iconsomnolent-droid:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013
:)
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:icondreamsinstatic:
dreamsinstatic Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012
Your fantastic work has been feature in Friday Night Features.
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:iconanovoca:
Anovoca Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012   Writer
Dayum!
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:iconsomnolent-droid:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012
Thanks so much for the comment and the fave.

It's my first sonnet, so it was a challenge to use this structure!
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:iconanovoca:
Anovoca Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012   Writer
I never classify my rhyming patters but if I had too they are probably mostly resemble sonnets. I love the sonnets use of the two lines at the end to add a bit of finality to the poem.
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:iconsomnolent-droid:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012
Hmm, I'm the same I just write however feels right to me. But this is for a poetry contest and a Shakespearean Sonnet was specified.
I just thought those two lines had to really bring the poem to an end, so I'm glad you think it worked! :)
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:iconanovoca:
Anovoca Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012   Writer
I was speaking of sonnets in a general sense but yes you did a good job with it here as well
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