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:iconsomnolent-droid: More from Somnolent-Droid


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Devious Literature by Michel-le-fou

Prose by 91816119

Suggested DLD's and DLR's by SilverInkblot


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Submitted on
August 15, 2012
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3.4 KB
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633
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19 (who?)
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30

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Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
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My life had always been painted in sombre greys. In death, how it blossoms!

When the rains come, the watery drops fall like tears of ink: echoing and dancing across sparkling sapphire puddles. The sun, a golden mystic orb, shedding its beauty on all it touches.
I see rustic weather-beaten cragged faces of the old, set with eyes of faded blue. I behold bright smiles and blushes upon the fat cheeks of the young. My ears prickle with the twirling thousand-noted song of birds. The beauty of all these things I never observed in life, now bursts upon my ripened senses - in death.

In a trance I view this new-found paradise. Life, I have come to realise, is most beautiful to the spectator. The spectator has no need for understanding or judgement.

I look upon a derelict dilapidated street, filthy with squalor. I cast my eyes over the crumbling paintwork of rotting window frames, housing broken panes. Here and there sickly weeds break through mouldering masonry.

Oh what a picture, what a spectacle! What art!

Withered creatures scuttle furtively from one festering doorway to another, or limp painfully by with deep frowns creasing their ruined faces.

Do these not serve as fitting embellishments of the picturesque vision?

The scene still stirs my emotions, but now they are disconnected, as if stimulated by a fictitious tale. I see only a backdrop and actors, they exist only for my entertainment. These people have no significance and do not suffer, they only present that aspect so that I might take interest in this intricate scene.

The dead watch the living: detached, separated, segregated. The living prattle along giddily in their little bubble, or wearily toil. To them, I am just another face in the swirling crowd of humanity. To me, they are enchanting little fishes swimming in a beautiful aquarium.

I have been blessed with the capacity to appreciate withered beauties and fresh blooms alike. Recently I have become enamoured and allured by a wondrous thought. I dream of breaking this brittle-glassed world, to witness a new beauty.
As mocking reality was shattered and destruction crashed righteously through their fragile world, how gorgeous would it be? Just imagine all those pitiful fishes lying splintered, gasping - bedecked with shrapnel diamonds and rubies of crimson blood!

Yet I am not malicious. It is not their pain in which I will take pleasure. I have no capacity to relate, no sympathetic feeling. What spurs me onward is the anticipant joy, as of viewing a new painting - a new aesthetic delight!
Can this be understood? Can the living understand the dead? It is of no consequence. I write for myself, for my own enjoyment.

Yet that is not strictly true...if you are that most rare of specimens.
If your mind is surpassingly strong and beautifully magnificent, if your mind is resplendent with art and gorgeous with glory - then it is of great consequence!

She, sacred Angelic Death, shall come some soft starless night. She shall come serving deliverance from the shackles of a beating heart. Encased in a necromantic embrace, within her baptismal arms of gleaming ivory - you shall be honoured at last.

You, like I, shall awaken dead - dead among the living!
The protagonist is dead. He possessed such an exceptionally artistic mind that Angelic Death thought him worthy of the gift of a necromantic embrace, so that he may walk dead among the living, and appreciate the full beauty of the world unconfined by life and morality.


Comments and criticisms are always welcomed.

Many thanks for reading.
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013   Writer
:+fav: Thanks for a sweet little story, full of ideas I've never had. It was wonderful to read.
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:iconsomnolent-droid:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013
You're very kind! Thanks so much, it means a lot!
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013   Writer
:iconyourewelcomesignplz:
Reply
:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hi there! Just a note to let you know I've featured this piece in my 2012 showcase of literature: [link] :D
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012   General Artist
Congratulations on the well-deserved DLD on quite a profound piece, dear one! :clap:
Reply
:iconsomnolent-droid:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012
Many thanks! It's a huge honour to be featured! I'm really glad you enjoyed the piece.

What sort of themes do you enjoy writing about?
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012   General Artist
I most certainly did! :heart:

I think I better let my work speak for me since I don't really know what themes I lean more towards and, in this light, do feel welcome to browse through my gallery, particularly my poetry and prose folders. :la:
Reply
:iconsomnolent-droid:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
Thanks! I'll be sure to check out your works! :)
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012   General Artist
My pleasure and hooray! :la:

I hope I don't come out too disappointing. :dummy:
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DailyLitDeviations in a news article that can be found here [link]
Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article.
Reply
:iconsomnolent-droid:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012
Many thanks!
Reply
:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
First... Sorry for hte late critique :(

This work is a surprisingly unique one and it has to be properly understood if one has to critique on it. It is quite a delicate subject matter which you have presented and in doing so you have left yourself at the mercy of the reader as to how they take your work.

Content wise, for many it may be unrelatable and a totally new concept but that is its beauty. To acquaint with something totally new - actually that sort of satiation is what is discussed in the work above. While some may debate over what happens when one dies, I realize the perspective from which this work was written and so I won't go there. For me this is quite the interesting and mind grasping work that one should not read when they are tired otherwise the essence of the work is hard to grasp.

The character you created is wonderful - I personally love the concept of people delving into something so deeply that they are detached of emotions. Here, the detachment is both due to being dead and being an artist. The way the person realizes that now he does not have anything to do with the living is actually quite scary; I have reached similar threads in other perspectives and one should have a strong attachment to something else in order to disregard something as meaningful as the living. In short, the character is developed well and I personally like the way he thinks.

There is an ambiguity in the way of writing, at places the reader has to assume portions or intentions or choose an interpretation out of various interpretations available but that again is part of the work and makes the work more enjoyable.

The end reminds me of a poem that I haven't put up on DA since no one will get it ^^; and thus I conclude this critique. A very thoughtful work written relating the random thoughts of a person who is dead and is thus looking at the living in a totally different way. I didn't see any grammer issues which is good :D you will probably find many in my prose ^^

Good job!
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:iconsomnolent-droid:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012
Well this is really unexpected. Thanks ever so much for taking the time and effort to come up with this detailed critique.

You clearly understand the story I was trying to convey, which is really great.

Argh, I'm lost for words, you've just taken so long over your review. I just can't answer it as eloquently or completely as I'd like.

All your kind words really mean so much to me, and I haven't found any mistakes in your punctuation.

Your review is so well thought out and covers every aspect of my piece.

Anyway, I'm really not good at responding to such nice comments. I just wanted to say that I have been working on your commission, but I'm having trouble with the dragon. I was reading a book on dragonology last night, seriously, for inspiration. So far though my dragon resembles a deformed Greek bull, with enormous haunches, crossed with a black ram. I'll keep working on it until I feel it's presentable. Once the dragon is done, the rest should fall into place.

Thanks again *hugs*
Reply
:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
hehe you take too much effort in trying to respond nicely :) I felt rather bad especially since you critiqued so well and I was unable to give a single one.

You are welcome and as long as it helps you or makes things better for you in any way I am happy :D

Oh and like I said... you don't have to get on it so soon... take your time and get other more important things done! Also... use your own style :) if there is something I know about asking for commissions (I don't know a lot ^^; ) is that let the artist put some personal touch. I will let the "beast" to you... it does not have to be a perfect dragon :)

So take your time and feel comfortable with it... thanks again for working on it :heart:
Reply
:iconsomnolent-droid:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012
Aw, :)

Well thanks again, and I give you another update of the commission as soon as it's more presentable :D
Reply
:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I will be patiently waiting for it :aww: and just to inform you... I will be absent for a week or slightly more starting from day after tomorrow so take your time :)
Reply
:iconsomnolent-droid:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012
Ok :)
Reply
:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hi there! Just a note to let you know I've featured this piece in my journal: [link] :)
Reply
:iconsomnolent-droid:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012
Wow, many thanks! It's an honour!
Reply
:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:highfive:
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:iconcrossbowjoe:
CrossbowJoe Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Once again you have portrayed a rather eccentric fellow exceptionally well
Reply
:iconsomnolent-droid:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2012
Aw, many thanks again for your kind words of encouragement :)
Reply
:iconsovereignsin:
SovereignSin Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012  Student Writer
It felt a bit like reading "The Outsider," only with a protagonist who has come to terms with his or her post-life crisis. Post-life crisis? I think I'm going to coin that phrase.

Mindless prattling aside, this was beautiful. Dark, wonderful. I couldn't say enough without rambling. I loved it.
Reply
:iconsomnolent-droid:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012
Oh wow! Thanks so much! I haven't read "The Outsider" but I'll have check it out now. It really means so much to receive such a kind comment. Also, I like the term "post-life crisis" :-D
Reply
:iconsovereignsin:
SovereignSin Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012  Student Writer
You're very welcome, and you really should. "The Outsider" was the first H.P. Lovecraft story I ever read. It sums up everything he was in life very succinctly.

It is a really catchy term, isn't it? I may have to start charging for its use. I'll let yours slide, though, just this once! ;D
Reply
:iconsomnolent-droid:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012
Just realised I have read it, and it does sum him up very well!

Ok, and I think "that phrase" is great ;D
Reply
:icontatterdema1ion:
tatterdema1ion Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2012  Student General Artist
Oh oh oh... this is excellent. I love the protagonist's voice and verve. He seems surprisingly enthusiastic for one of the dead, I must say, and though he describes himself hardly at all there is a strong sense of his presence-- which is excellent work on your part. Also, nice imagery.

"I look upon a derelict dilapidated street, filthy with squalor; the crumbling paintwork, rotting window frames with broken panes, sickly weeds breaking through mouldering masonry, and see only art. " Your sentences, I think, are a bit too lengthy too often, and they feature comma and semicolon use that give me some qualms. Remember you should only use a semi-colon when the parts of the sentence on both sides of it could stand as a sentence on their own. Above the part after the semicolon isn't a complete sentence. The list of things the protagonist sees would do well to be separated from the rest of the sentence by dashes, perhaps. Either way I'd suggest a reword. Remember to make meaning as clear as possible and not to use too many long sentences. Divide a few of them. (I wax lengthy on this topic because it's about the biggest mistake I make).

Either way, really good job. I loved it.
Reply
:iconsomnolent-droid:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2012
Thanks for such a detailed and kind review. Yes, it's a bit rough round the edges overall I feel. I haven't felt confident about my placing of paragraphs, or the length of some sentences! I'll give it a bit of a poke, based on your suggestions, and see if I can get things to fit in the right places. It would be nice if it wasn't so clumsily chunky!

Many thanks again!
Reply
:iconhananiahthrellfall:
HananiahThrellfall Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2012  Student Writer
I'm neutral in this issue though because there are two options they watch the living or they are just sleeping
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:iconsomnolent-droid:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2012
Actually the protagonist is dead.

Because he possessed such an exceptionally artistic mind, Angelic Death bestowed the gift of a necromantic embrace upon him, so that he may walk dead among the living. His mind subsequently becomes increasingly sensitive to the beauties of the world, both conventional and grotesque. This gift was bestowed upon him by Death, so he his artistic mind could reach it's full potential, which was impossible while he was hampered by the confines of life and morality.

It's explained a bit in the last paragraph, but I'll also add a it to Artist's comments box too.

Many thanks for commenting and faving! :)
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