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March 12, 2013
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Lord of Madness by Somnolent-Droid Lord of Madness by Somnolent-Droid
His Lordship Cthulhu's interests:

Driving humanity insane and playing baccarat down the club with his contemporaries Bertie Wooster, Arsène Lupin, Hercule Poirot, and Dr. Fu-Manchu.

Poirot's tracking down the bads, but Bertie...? Bertie's just innocently indulging in a spot of good old gambling.

Maybe Poirot and Jeeves can save the day before Bertie has his valuables pilfered (Lupin), sanity blasted (Cthulhu of course) or his life cut short (Fu-Manch's dacoits, Thuggee, hashashins, poisonous fungi, spiders, bio-weapons, toxic gasses etc.)


1). Bertie's generally broke and Lupin only targets the very wealthy, so he's probably safe from the attentions of Leblanc's Gentleman Burglar.
2.) Bertie never had much sanity to begin with, so Cthulhu's fairly harmless.
3). Bertie's never going to start unravelling and exposing The Insidious Dr. Fu-Manchu's evil plans - he doesn't have the brains for it.
4). Enjoy your cards Mr Wooster, but you'll be broke as hell afterwards!
Poor Jeeves, what a lot to fix... :D

Poirot - give up! Fu-Manchu might share you distaste of guns, but that's only because he's too diabolically inventive to be so boring...

Anyway Cthulhu, Lupin, Fu-Manchu, Poirot, Bertie and Jeeves: six amazing characters! Each one composed of pure, unadulterated win! Well maybe not was pretty lame getting hit by that boat, but we all have our bad days. :D

Wow, I'm easily distracted!

EDIT: Found this from the Black Dossier, "What Ho, Gods of the Abyss". Yep, a wonderful Wodehouse and Lovecraft crossover. :D [link]
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Why does this sound like an interesting story?

Cthulhu's looking fancy~
Haha, I'd love to write but I doubt I'd be able to do the chars justice! :D

Thanks  the fave, yeah cthulhu's looking debonair! 

Jake-Sjet Apr 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
A very dapper dark elder god. The British Empire approve of this harbinger of our destruction.
Indeed, when our proud Britannia falls, if our destroyer be thus clad as a noble gentleman, we shall face our demise with a stiff upper lip and perhaps a little Tea
:iconpartayplz: :iconsaysplz: Cucumber and mint sandwich, eldritch abomination old chap?

Oh BTW, I wanted to check out some of your work, but there's such a lot I don't know where to begin... Where would you suggest? :)
Jake-Sjet Apr 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yes but only a little tea. No need to go overboard like its the Jubilee or something. Well...maybe just a little bunting....

Yes there is a lot of it. I'm told I'm quite prolific. Or was it profane? Bah it was one of those, I'll let you decide which. As for what to read first, well that depends on what your into. So let me be of some small assistance.

Made Man [link] : A tale of love, adventure, and something that looks like magic set against the backdrop of prohibition era New York City. A piano player and his squeeze get on the wrong side of the Mob, and the worse side of some shady characters with their eyes set on world domination. Only a rag tag group of mystics, drunks and sidelined individuals older than Christianity can hope to put a stop to a plan that saw their world end, and our begin...
(I hasten to add I do not mean 'Vorld Domination'. There are no Nasty Nazi's in this. All's more the pity really...)

Long Winter: Rise of the Valdren [link] : The world as we knew it ended hundreds of years ago during what many believed was the Rapture. Now mankind rebuilds, reverting backwards to a simpler time of mad science and noble kings. Its been nearly twenty years since the Fair Lady arose, wielding a power that could have changed the world had she not fallen. Now her daughter, stolen away from her birthright, is about to be thrust into a shooting gallery of political intrigue and warmongering.
(Think Game of Thrones meets Mad Max. Except Geoffrey isn't included in the cast of characters, and there are two Scottish soldiers by they name of Shamus and Remas who I am told are quite the comedic pair.)

Fishing on Europa [link] : A group of scientists, who are living on the surface of the moon Europa, are about to be recalled to Earth after failing to discover life on their forbidding world. Some long for a return to the green hills of home, whilst others seek the ultimate answers to mankind's existence. Murder, betrayal, and sacrifice proves that some ideals are worth paying any price to protect.
(This one I'm particularly proud of, because its almost finished! That's something of a rarity for me. Now if you do read this one I should add that Carol and Karim are one and the same character, there was a name change half way through the plot to better reflect the South Korean ancestry.)

And lastly...

Long Winter: Sleeping Beauty [link] : This peice is set way back in the time line (HA! Like I've written down a history for any of this...) of Long Winter, where we first meet the Fair Lady who sets off a little cultural revolution. We meet our bumbling scholar, Benjamin Ingram as he discovers the flying treasure ark of King Up'af. Though within he finds not gold or silver, but the sleeping form of a woman from the deepest past.
(I'll be honest enough to say this was a fun piece to write, mostly because it was a chance to step back and wonder how to describe a sub orbital space craft or cryogenic freezer in terms that someone who knew not of modern science might comprehend.)

Other than that, scattered throughout the gallery you will find little one shots I've come to call 'Drabbles'. You can thank Tattered for the name, she came up for it as meaning a literary scribble. Steerage is a good one, though 'A Random Space Opera' is always fun if your into dub step and double crosses.

(Okay that's me done, I swear.)
Thank you for such a long and detailed response! I wasn't expecting that at all. Sorry I've taken so ling to respond. I just saw your message and though 'Wow! How do I answer that?' I guess my brain works really slowly.

I shall indeed be sampling some of the dishes now I've seen the menu. <-- What? :D

Thanks again, and sorry I can't think of a longer or more intelligent reply! :hug:
Jake-Sjet Apr 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well you answered it, which answers the 'How' part of the statement. I'll be honest and assumed the silence was code for "Oooooookay, little creepy. *edge away slowly*"

Bah think nothing of it. It is sometimes better to say two words instead of a paragraph in some circumstances. Unless the words are 'You're fired' in which case a little more explanation is not only required, but encouraged. Unless your Donald Trump, in which case no explanation is required but you do have to suffer the pains of reality TV.

(As you might see I subscribed to the 'ten words are better than one' club.)
Oh, don't be deceived! I can be quite the chronic waffler, I get distracted really easily though, and don't stay on topic.

But yeah, in my case it's like "Ooookay, little creepy" *edges slowly closer*. Creepiness is interesting. Not that you were/are creepy!

I haven't yet checked out your work because I have the attention span of a very giddy gnat being chased with a fly swatter, and I've also been a little busy.

Hmm, reality TV really is dreadful, isn't it? It'd have been funny if they'd had such a thing back in the day when all the celebrities were incredibly posh. I might actually have ended up watching Big Brother, or "Elder Sibling" (as they might have called it) if it had Oscar Wilde, Ambrose Bierce etc. Each episode would be so quotable. But today's reality TV is dross. On reflection, reality TV would probably still be appalling no matter what age it was set in, no matter who the 'contestants' were. After all, everyone's equally boring when they're asleep. Why do they film them when they're asleep? It's the single creepiest piece of televised oddness I've ever witnessed.

Anyway, lots of words are fun :D
Jake-Sjet Apr 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Why do they record them sleeping? I'll tell you why: the downfall of Western civilisation. So much culture, so many great things happened before the advent of the TV or mass media. Now everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame, forsaking family and country in a neurotic drive to publicise their own name. Big Brother, Jeremy Kyle, and the celebrity of the 'I should be famous' crowd The Lotto Lout. I can only hope Y2K is running late and will soon erase the worlds media back to the 90's, and we can forget the Me-lenium.

Perhaps naming the decade the YOLO-caust might be putting it a little to caustically, but I'm sticking to my guns and tea.

And whilst I might not have the attention span of an excitable gnat with kamakazi blood in my veins, I do travel with something of a soap box.
This is all sadly true. Most best selling music sucks, most best selling books suck, 'modern art is a joke' - and a costly one at that!

But hey, there's Terry Pratchett and Stephen Fry and TV gave us Monthy Python, so I guess we just have to sift through all the excrement to find the gold - even though that process probably causes quite a degree of damage to the brain...

Celebrity autobiographies. Why? And why hasn't The Sun and its readers got sick of the word 'scandal' yet? The glossies and tabloids run the same stories every week, only the names change. I can't even tell one celeb from another half the time, because they've had that much plastic surgery that they all look like clones!

Wonder what the future will be like? Will parents really program the DNA of their unborn children?

A thought for another day! :D
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