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Literature - General by NotenSMSK

Incredible by Infinite-Winter

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Submitted on
October 22, 2012
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9 (who?)
I saw Him rise and He does exist,
came and saved a sinning atheist.
Showed me light when I saw none,
paved the way for the path I'm on.

Now I know what's required of me,
the Lord has come and set me free.
With pen in hand I write this line,
and watch the stars as they realign,

Others laugh and call me names,
they'll soon perish in His flames!
None of them would take a look,
as I opened up the holy Book!

I pray and plead to join the throng,
worshipers that know Your song!
Come take me to the distant place,
insane in the arms of mad embrace!

Oh Great Lord Cthulhu!
This one goes out to all the Cthulhu cultists out there, wishing on a star! lol
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NirvanaInKarma Featured By Owner May 4, 2014
IA! IA! *love-tentacle*
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2014
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is well written although I hope you are not a staunch Cthulu believer :D Nevermind that. So the meter was consistent and the rhyme was natural. The message/story wsa clear and understandable... nothing wrong there. There are a few portions that I would like to point out:

"And watch the stars as they realign"

The "as they realign" adds a certain disruption in the flow of the work. In my opinion, "And watch the stars realign" would sound better and will be read slightly slow rather then speeded up to match the rhythm.

"as I opened up a famous book"

That seems quite out of place in the writing. It is kind of childish... the"famous" part to be specific. An "ancient" book or something of thesort would sound better. Over all a good read and lol... you seem to be quite the cthulu fan :XD:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013
Thanks for the comments! I'm actually an atheist, so no worries about me sacrificing stuff to the Great Lord Cthulhu (All Hail!).

"I watch the stars as they realign" is a reference to the rising up of Cthulhu when the stars are right, so it would be difficult to put it any other way. It's a reference from the Lovecraft's work.

"as I opened up the famous book". This is a reference to Lovecraft's neronomicon; a fictional book, that actually doesn't exist. I was initially going to use the word "holy" but thought that some might deem it offensive, considering the whole poem is a double entendre, gently lampooning religion. I'm not anti-religion, I just don't happen to be religious myself.

I like the "ancient" suggest very much, and will adjust the poem accordingly! Thanks :)
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ah I see :nod: then no worries for you :aww:

Ah... I never knew that Cthulhu also follows the aligning of the stars.

Ah... well you have quite the references in this work and being a not yet a fan of Lovecraft, I am unable to relate :nod:

You are welcome :aww:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013
When the stars are right then Cthulhu will awaken.

Lovecraft is good and bad. If I were to recommend one of his books, it'd have to be At The Mountains of Madness because it's one of the very few where Lovecraft's racism doesn't rear its ugly head.
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I shall try to keep the title in mind but I don't think I will be able to read it :hmm: don't have time ^^;
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013
Hey, no worries you've already done more that your fair share of reviewing my work, you deserve a break! After all, I might, possibly, become quite productive soon and start bombarding DA with stuff..possibly XD
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Really? that would be some breakthrough if you manage to get so busy :la: lets wait and see :iconhappymeowplz:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2013
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